One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
