I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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