He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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