Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm both gender and math confused
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
