i barfeds in our rink
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
