sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
