is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
