I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
His nipple licking is glorious
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