all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
