I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
