just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It's never too late to be topless.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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