Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
