so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
