I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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