I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
