I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Duck Duck Cougar?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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