Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
