I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
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i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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