he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
