my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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