my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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