How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
