Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
