Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
