You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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