First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
