I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
