Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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