He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
