there's paper in my vomit.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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