Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
