when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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