so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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