wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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