They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
