forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Drake has all the answers
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
