Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
