I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We are all done wearing pants today
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
