whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
