i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
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i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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