You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
