I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
