This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
