I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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