he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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