Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize