Me too!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
