i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
