They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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