At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
