I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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