we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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