I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
