Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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