no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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