just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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