be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
