M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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