That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
