Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I touched a dick in church today
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
