i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she smelled like a LAN party
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize