it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
