i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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