So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
