in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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