shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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